Tuesday, September 25, 2007

My "Rubaiyatic" Attempt:

1. Morning is here, violating her visits,
Clearly doubting my love for our kids;
To watch them sleep so sound through the night,
Is all that I get-but she rose before six.

2. Why, might I ask, is it so hard to speak?
Seeing someone so stunning, I'm left without speech
Can beauty truly leave a man mute?
They've locked up advice and eaten the key.

3. It can't be found in music class,
This outlook so sincere and vast
Just lay on a car, pen in hand
With Springsteen, Dylan, and Mr. Cash.

4 comments:

Dray's Blog said...

I like the rhyming, but the opening to me was a little weak. It has a good idea but in needs to flow a little more.

r4kijews said...

The last poem was interesting and enjoyable cause it was about great musicians.

Allen Webb said...

I think your second verse really captures the appreciate of beauty and of the moment of the original!

Molly said...

I really liked the last one as well. Music has a deep meaning that cant be studied or analyzed, it's just something that comes to you naturally and comes from the imagination. I definitely agree with you, especially about Bob Dylan's music. He was always known as a great poet because his lyrics are a lot deeper than just words on paper.